You Are Worth The Wait
by Twinewecl
Summary: Edward has been alone for over 90 years Living in a house full of love he goes deeper into his sorrow hole The one girl keeps appearing everywhere and he hasnt got a slightest clue as to who she is...how will he react when he gets his first taste at love?
1. Pick Me Up When I'm Down

**Background: Edward and Bella haven't met. All the other cullens are together like usual. Um well im Australian so that makes Christmas in the summer holidays for me. Sorry if it all confuses you but the start of this story is set at Christmas before the next year of school starts. Enjoy!**

**EPOV**

Christmas day. My 90th Christmas as a vampire. For some reason that's meant to be something to celebrate, according to Alice.

I groaned as I heard Alice squealing downstairs in excitement as she decorated the lounge room with green and red tinsel.

_Aren't you excited Eddie?_ Her voice filled my head. I growled in response knowing she knew full well of how I thought of Christmas. If only reminded me of how long I have been a vampire. It tells me how many years have past by with nothing to show for it. My torture of continuing to live when all I want to do is die.

Alice had a totally different point of view to all of this. But she can't remember her human life. She doesn't seem to understand just how stuck we are. No way of getting out with having to go to some extreme lengths. I have often thought of running to the Volturi and just giving up, but something keeps me back. The love for my family, I assume.

I laid on my couch and turn on my stereo. Blasting it so loudly that the house rocked with the bass beat. My daily ritual and I knew it tormented each and everyone being in this house.

_Shut up Edward! Turn it off why don't you! _

_Man, Edward find something else to do._

_Turn off that racket or I'll come show you how!_

The voices filled my head but I ignored it. Wishing that the music would block it all out, failure to my regret.

_Edward, dear come down and see what Alice has done for you. _Esme's calming voice always seemed to work just that little more for me. Giving in, I grouchily made my way down the stairs at human walking speed.

Looking up I discovered the room was filled with sparkling objects, green and red glitter covered the walls. My piano was left alone, thankfully. But nothing else was as fortunate.

"Wow great job Alice" I said, even I could hear the boredom in my dull tone.

She just smile warmly at me but it didn't reach her eyes. I stared at her trying decipher what exactly _was_ in her eyes. Sympathy? Fear? Excitement? I shook my head at her and she gave me a questioning look.

_Come on Edward cheer up a little. What's so wrong about having one joyful day with your family?_

I ignored her thoughts and walked over to the kitchen, hoping to get away from all the eyes I could feel boring holes into me.

When I entered the room I met the eyes of Carlisle. Those wise young eyes. Sighing I slouched into the nearest chair by the table.

"Everything ok there Edward?" He asked casually but I knew his desire to help me feel better.

I shrugged. "Never been better" It was true, my whole life has been dull or horrible. My human life had death pretty much written all over it and my vampire life was dreary.

Carlisle let out a long sigh. Straightening himself up again, I could tell I was in for another long and boring talk to.

"Edward, could you please just lighten up a little. Just today, if not just for your sister? She looks forward to this day all year and to be honest…you're dragging it just a bit. Cut Alice a little slack too. She worries constantly about you. What ever decisions go through your head comes out as reality to her."

I lifted my eyebrows at him incredulously. "What ever goes through _my head_? What about everything that goes through your heads? I have to deal with all of you!" I started to tense up in anger. Everything that I keep inside was on the edge of my tongue and in the fists on my hands.

Despite all this Carlisle kept a calm look. "You missed my point dear son." He stated simply. "Just loosen up a little, for today at least" With that he picked up his newspaper he'd been reading and walked gracefully out of the kitchen, leaving me alone and confused.

_Easier said then done._

**So tell me what you think and thankyou for reading!**

**Gem. **


	2. Love Is All That I Need

_**Heyy Everyone. Thanks to every one that reviewed. I really like this story and where it's going to go but it's also very hard to write, so help would be welcomed! Thank you. Gem.**  
_

_Easier said then done._

Slowly, I stood back up and made my way back to the lounge room. Not even giving the slightest glance towards Alice. I strode past, going back upstairs, to my bedroom. I slammed the door in frustration but just not hard enough to do any real damage.

"Ahhh!" I screamed out. Picking up my lounge, I threw it with little restrained force against the wall.

It collided fiercely and fell to the ground with an echoing boom, still holding it's shape.

My body was shaking all over in anger. _Why me? It's not fair! _I felt totally out of control. My room spun around me, swirling unforgivably. 

If I was human I knew I would be crying my eyes out now. But no, I'm not human. I'm stuck in this unfair and lonely world _forever _as a stupid blood sucking monster, in which I loathed with all of my existence

Shakily I fell to the ground, leaning helplessly onto my knees. Putting my head in my hands I dry sobbed. Heaving the unnecessary breaths trying to relief my depression. My stomach clenched, my mind froze, my whole frame tensed up into a deadly ball. I pulled on my hair in devastation. Wanting to rip it out. To feel the pain, to feel like I was connected in some way. I had no purpose. Carlisle had Esme, they relied on each other in every possible way. Jasper and Alice were undeniably in love, never leaving each other for a second without worrying, even bloody Emmett had someone to hold and share everything with. But not me. I am alone and useless. No one to keep hold of and cheer up. No one to talk to and listen to with all my concentration, no one that needs me, no one _that wants_ me. I don't love, I can't love.

Collapsing, I laid on the carpet and tried to hold myself together with my arms wrapped around me securely.

I knew I looked pathetic but I truly didn't care. I'd be gone soon anyway, just needed to somehow get away from here...

The door flew open wide. Alice walked slowly over to me, her worried face came right up close to mine.

"Don't you dare" She whispered in my ear. "Don't you dare leave us, leave _me_!" 

I growled lowly. "Why should I stay here? Why should I even still be here? I'm no use to any of you, to no one, I'm going and never coming back. I'm going to rid this world of me. Deal with it." I flew up into my upright standing position, defensively.

Alice's little body stood in front of me and the door, protectively. "Edward" She said slowly, making sure she was saying the right words. "Trust me on this, you don't want to leave _now_," I frowned at her in confusion. _Why does she always confuse me?_ I tried to look into her mind but I couldn't focus on anything, my own mind was spinning out. So I decided to push aside her statement and ignore it. 

"I think _I_ know what I want, now get out of the way." I waited for my sister to move, but she didn't budge.

"_No_ Edward, please just…stay one more year, no not even that! Just a term. One more term of school wouldn't be _so_ hard, would it?." She was practically begging me with her piercing words . Her mind raced with fear of loosing me. 

Her thoughts were calming me down immensely.Relaxing every muscle in my sour, untouched body. She really _wanted me?_

"Why?" I looked down at the ground. "Why do you want me to stay here and just bring you down with me?" Shaking my head at the idea of another term on this earth, all alone, aching with isolation, the sheer thought made me somehow queasy.

"You have no idea what that would do to me if you left now. I can see it..." She looked blankly down at her feet, "I would die alive! You are my brother. I _love_ you Edward. You are not alone and never, ever will be again." She reached out to me as she was saying these love filled lyrics but as the words sank in I flinched back as anger boiled inside me again.

"_I am not alone?" _I asked incredulously. "Sure you _love me_. That's not the love I need!" I saw every part of Alice's body recoil. She hurt, but I couldn't feel sorry for her, "Everyone in this god forsaken house has the love I'll never have! The way Jasper looks at you, his thoughts, that's what I want to look like at someone. I _need_ that. But I'm not right for anyone. I'm far too gone for that dream now…" My shriveled heart would never do that for me, I knew there was no hope for me. 

"I wouldn't be so sure of that Edward…" Alice actually grinned at me!

Sighing I walked over to my lounge and lifted it upright again. Sitting down on it, I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. 

"Alice please don't. Don't put hope up for grabs." Trying to clear my head of her words, I put my head in my hands, raking my fingers threw my mattered, lifeless hair. 

"Please Edward just think about it. Don't leave now, trust me." With that I heard her foot steps patter the ground as she made her way over to my door and shut it behind her as she left.

"_One term_" I whispered into my hands.


	3. Innocently Natural

"_One term_" I whispered into my hands.

After moping in my room for several hours I finally managed to take control of my emotions just enough to keep Jasper settled in his seat and Alice's mind rested for a while.

But my mind was still racing. Racing through all the loops and holes in it's work. I couldn't comprehend any words as I made my way through the lounge room and towards my 'run away' room, the kitchen. I heard distant voices in my head, they were full of fear, anxiety and anger. 

Secretly glad that I couldn't work out what they were saying, I ignored them. Slowly the whispers halted and silenced. Stepping with no effort in my usual lively steps.

I remember when I first was turned as a vampire. My first year was incredible, realizing my powers, extraordinary strengths and speeds. The world seemed to of given me a fresh new start from my previous horrific messed up life. A new spreadsheet laid out for me to step on, only once again, I have trod on my own bare feet. Now I would give anything to feel a heart beat in my chest, to feel to warm nutrient blood flow through my veins, around my cool body. 

This time, I arrived to an empty kitchen. It made me lighten up a little. Sitting at the kitchen table with myself, I fiddled mindlessly with my long white fingers. 

_I really hope he stays just long enough for them to meet. What a loss it would be for him to leave now…all the possibilities and experiences he has been reined from, for all these years...  
_

Alice's voice rose in my head, it brought a wave of confusion to me. My mind meddled with the words switching them around annoyingly, so I decided to take a walk and breath the unneeded fresh air, allowing it to filled my cold useless lungs. Hopefully it would clear my thoughts.

I swung the fly-screen door open and took quick motions down the concrete steps, down along the stone path; it led towards the river that flowed past the house and into the small, wet, deary town of Forks.

All the thoughts that had previously been rummaging through my head had disappeared into nothing. Completely blanking my mind, I began following the slow running river down stream in the town direction.

I've made my mind up and decided to attend Forks high school for _one_ more term. Only one more, that's all. Then I would be gone, I_promised_ myself that. I was only staying to allow more time for my family to register the fact that I would no longer be with them. 

Strange…I thought Alice would be by my side right now. She would know where I was going. Though, as I continued my bendy track, Alice refused her presence with me, and I didn't refuse this.

Before I knew where I had ended up, I found myself at the end of the river and at the edge of a forest, next to houses. Houses, where normal, civilized people lived. People unlike me and my family.

Sighing I sat down on the damp, dewy wild grass on the out skirts of the outer layer of trees just in view of anyone who went by. The closest house was placed directly across the road from where I sat. Red brick, two stories with a narrow, white concrete drive way. 

I stared at the simple house with envy. What would I do to live such a simple short life of the humans that lived in that house. Ordinary and true to life and everything around it. Natural. Right where they belong.

No matter what Carlisle tries to make me believe, I continue to disagree with his belief of us owning a soul. How can something of our kind have a soul? All the terrible, vile things we do to the rest of the worlds living creatures. We are at the top of the food chain. We have no enemies…except ourselves. Of course, I don't blame Carlisle for my ending. For him changing me, he did what he thought was best for me and I have thanked him for that. But it hasn't turned out as planned. Each year that had past by has pushed me deeper into this hollow hole I have fallen into. Now after 90 years I think I've hit rock bottom. I waited for someone to give me a hand and pull me back out but no one has come to me with the want to do so and now I know what this world has in hand for me. Nothing. Simple, and I am accepting that as my fate.

Slowly, twilight reached me, leaving an extra chill in the air. A slight breeze pushed against my hair. I heard a low rumble in the distance, about 5 minutes away. Sounds like a run down truck to me.

As the minutes slowly ticked past, the noise became louder. Eventually a vehicle turned round the bend at the end of the street, making it's way down towards me.

The headlights shone in the misty, moist air. The thundering engine booming around with forest answering it call, birds shrieking their warning alarms around the treetops then fluttering their wings, escaping possible danger.

I was right, as usual. An old rusting, red chevy truck made it's way down the otherwise, quiet road, noisily. It roared past each house until it reached the last house across from where I sat. It slowed down just before the empty driveway. I saw the a young girl in drivers side. Her eyes reached mine at the exact time as mine found hers. Her beauty caught me off guard and I took in a sharp breath as her scent reached me. It pushed against me like a knife showing it's sharp, seductive side to my neck. Her long brown hair blew in the wind coming in through her window, blowing it over her face messily.

I saw the girls eyes widen as she studied me. All I could do in return was gap at her, like an idiot. Just sitting there mindlessly staring at her love heart-shaped face.

In her shock she forgot she was driving and managed to slam on her brakes just before hitting the tall garden feature, as she ploughed over the newly mowed lawn.

Coming back to my senses I quickly covered myself with the protection of the trees' shadows.

A yellow night light turned on at the front steps of the house. The door swung open quickly and an alarmed middled-aged man made his way outside running towards the red vehicle parking on his flowerbed.

Still so shocked from the sight of this girl, I couldn't make out what they were talking about. Only noticing the frantic male voice fussing over a light females defensive tone.

The brown haired girl stumbled out of her car and jogged around the other side, her eyes searching in vain for my figure. She scanned the edge of the forest, continually missing me just standing there in the shadows, staring at her beautiful face.

**Hope you like it! What do you think? Ok, I want to ask one question...am I getting his feelings across to anyone? Because that's my soul purpose. Thanks. Gem.**


	4. Runaway Smile

**Ok pretty short but i thought i should just get this out for now. I'm not really in the writing mood so please forgive me for my lack of words**

The brown haired girl stumbled out of her car and jogged around the other side, her eyes searching in vain for my figure. She scanned the edge of the forest, continually missing me just standing there in the shadows, staring at her beautiful face.

She eventually gave up and walked back inside with the man I think was her father.

Then a scent hit me. Not the girls, not her fathers, something else. And I knew instantly what it was. A werewolf.

My body tensed up as I sensed it in the forest with me. Deciding to hopefully ran out of it's reach I ran full pelt back the direction I had come from.

Managing to reach the fly-screen door within the minute Alice's voice screeched in my ear.

"_Where have you been!?"_ I jumped at the sudden noise.

"Calm down" I said in an unusual perk in my voice. I smiled thoughtfully at her hastiness.

Alice stood there in shock at my new mood. She blinked at me dumbfounded. "What?" She asked in a whisper.

I threw my head back in laughter. "I was just taking a walk, no big deal."

"But…but I couldn't see you." Her brow crinkled in confusion.

"Oh, ah yeah that was just coincidence, nothing to worry about." I started towards the lounge room but Alice grabbed my arm forcefully.

"Edward, what happened?" She asked firmly, looking me straight in the eyes.

I sighed, "If you must know I went to the suburbia and…well sort of ran into a werewolf on the way,"

Alice's hand stiffened on my arm and her eyes grew terribly wide. "_What?"_ She shrieked.

"Alice! Please don't worry. I'm fine. I ran away…" Stating it simply like this made me feel horribly weak and pitiful.

Alice visibly relaxed at my words. "Well thank god for that, imagine what would of happened if he got his paws on you…" She winced at her thoughts.

I took offense to this. "Hey! I would have been ok, I can look after myself thanks. He wouldn't have even been a rock in my path. No problem." I knew I sounded overly cocky but I needed to boost my confidence.

Alice's lips curved into a wide smile, "Do you know how much I love you?" She gave me a huge, strong hug.

All the adrenalin and cheerfulness washed out of me then. I didn't respond to her hug so when she pulled away, her face concocted with a grim look.

"What now?" She asked sighing.

I growled at her. "Don't" I warned her. I knew she was going to push it. "I want you to leave me, don't say things like that."

Her face flushed with pure white anger. "You aren't leaving! I wont let you. You promised!" Her voice was starting to make my ears ring and my anger only bubbled fiercely.

"I promised I'll stay for one more term! That all." My voice just managed to sound under control.

And with that I whipped out of the room before Alice had a chance to say another word.

**Haha, if you dont feel satisfied with this then i'll try and get another one out soon.**

**Thanks.**

**Gem.**


	5. New Improved Way

**Thankyou to all the reviews and readers for the last chapter. I really appreciate it!**

"I promised I'll stay for one more term! That's all." My voice just managed to sound under control.

And with that I whipped out of the room before Alice had a chance to say another word.

_I kept quiet for the rest of the night. I shudder just to think back to that night. Sitting here, now, safely in my bedroom, I'm realizing just how ignorant and lost I really was back then. The thoughts that ran through my head were not at all logic to any extent. My mind was stained with dark furious bludges from my past. All I wanted to do was push my memories away, destroy them, leave them. But I know now that all those events that took place in my life built up to one important and significant moment…_

I lay on my bed for the rest of the night just thinking to myself. So many questions ran through my head…

_Will they be ok after I leave? _Of course they will, they never needed me anyway. An obnoxious voice answered in my head.

_Will the Volturi make it quick for me? _Doesn't matter.

_What did Alice mean earlier tonight? _You'll never need to know.

I stood up next to my stereo and began to flick through the hundreds of CD's, picking a couple out.

Placing them in my stereo they began to play their peaceful music. I made sure to keep it down, this time, not wanting to annoy my family.

The piano pieces sung in the air around me. I felt a surge of relief wash through me as each note hit my ears. I literally felt my body way down and relax. Each bar softening my tensed figure.

_Ok._ I thought. _I can do this. I will get through one more term of school and not bother another soul._

"Edward hurry up! We're all going now. Don't be late!" Alice's soft voice reached upstairs, to my room.

"Don't worry, I'll leave in a minute. You all go in Rosalie's car today. I'll be right behind you. I promise" I called back down.

I grabbed my jacket and walked towards my door. Then I paused. My breathing became irregular and harsh.

_What am I doing? Why am I going back?_

I growled at myself. I knew that if I let that part of me get control then I would loose my courage and focus.

Taking one faithful tred I got out of my dark, gloomy room.

_Yes!_ I thought triumphantly. _It won't be so bad. I've got my family with me. My strange yet wonderful family._

I arrived at school and parked in my usual place. Everyone was already out and about. Group of giggly girls walked past me as I got out. They stared at me with want. Yet when I looked one in the eye I would see sudden fear and they'd look away. Natural human instinct took over them. They subconsciously knew I would bring them only harm when our paths crossed.

I caught up to the others and we split up, making our way to our first class. I had biology first. Not one of my other siblings had it with me so I went of down the corridor by myself. I hummed my piano pieces to myself trying to get distracted from the agonizing scents drifting around my head.

It wasn't long before the bell rung and I entered the room.

A girl and a guy, I know them as Sally and Ross, were already inside making out together. I cringed as I saw them but tried to ignore them and made my way over to my lonesome desk in the back row.

Eventually all my fellow human classmates made their way in. once everyone was settled down the teacher made his way in…followed by a young girl. A brown-haired thin girl. Her beautiful face shone in the limited light like an angel. Her long hair hung limply past her shoulders.

She followed the teacher into the classroom, but also following her was a boy. Brown hair, short and spiked. A huge grin spread across his face. Bright blue eyes dancing around looking at everyone. Though I only took one glance at him as I couldn't leave my eyes lingering when all I wanted to do was stare at the young girls gorgeous face. The same young girl, the same human girl, as I saw the other night at the edge of the forest.

"Ok class, attention please…ok well today we have two new classmates." He motioned towards the girl and boy who stood beside him. The girl seemed rather anxious and scared while the boy looked like he was ready to jump out his skin in excitement. "Bella and Tyler Swan. Just moved here in town and are now part of our small community. I hope you feel welcomed here. Please take a seat."

So Bella is her name. What a beautiful name…

"Can I sit here? There's only this seat left." I got taken out of my daydream and looked up to meet a blurred image of brown hair and pale skin.

**Hope you like it. I'm pretty happy with it, I just wrote it in one go and I want to get it out now because I'll be busy for a while after this, so I haven't had a lot of time to edit but I think you'll all get it anyway!  thanks!**


	6. There's Something I'm feeling

**Thanks again to everyone who reviewed and read. I hope you like this chapter... :)**

So Bella is her name. What a beautiful name…

"Can I sit here? There's only this seat left." I got taken out of my daydream and looked up to meet a blurred image of brown hair and pale skin.

"Er…" My concentration and coordination had flown out the window by then. I looked up and focused my eyes.

Tyler frowned a little. "Are you ok?"

I shook my head vigorously. "Oh, yeah I'm fine thanks."

Tyler sat down next to me and a heavy scent rose to my nose. I flinched back in shock at the intensity of the stench. My mind throbbed for me to give in to temptation but my 'heart' would not let go.

_No._ I thought to myself. _No one is dying today._

_Now here's an interesting memory. This day, this minute, was the exact moment I felt something different. Something extra had just been added to my life. An idea? No, I think more determination? A destination had bloomed my will for life. That exact moment changed my existence within forever._

The teacher began his long lecture on the biology of plants. I had heard it all before so that made it just that much harder for me to withstand the desire to devour.

I became extremely self-conscious. Tyler slowly edged towards me. No fear seemed to light his eyes as I peeked at the corner of my eye.

"So, is this all that happens? I mean, my old class used to be so lively and hyper not one teacher could keep us under their control." I glared over at him with mild disgust. Tyler flashed a quick grin in my direction then settled himself back in his seat.

I simply ignored his remark and stopped breathing until his breath eventually drifted away.

That period seemed to go on for a lifetime. A human lifetime anyway. Finally the annoying bell rang for next period and I quickly packed my things, eager to leave the class room. As I flashed out the door, I heard the start of a conversation on the other side of the room towards the area where Bella had been seated.

"Did you check that guy out? Man did he seem tense about something. He seemed like a pretty arrogant-"

"-yeah ok Tyler, I get the point."

I halted outside the door.

_That was Bella's voice._ The first time I had ever heard her speak and I was the lonesome topic.

Growling, angry at myself for putting out a bad first impression and continued my way down the corridor to my next class.

_What am I thinking?_ I thought. _Why do I care what they think of me?_

Walking past all the other scents now, seemed like sprouts compared to a delicious taste of a chocolate mud cake.

Forever, I will always compare Bella's scent to all others.

- - - - - - -

"See, not so bad after all, ey?" Alice patted my back encouragingly. The school car park was empty but it wouldn't be for long.

"No, not at all. Just the every ticking second of pure agony. Yeah, but other then that, no problem." I rolled my eyes and flicked the engine to my Volvo into life.

"Oh Edward" She nagged, "please don't be so negative. You've done this all before." There was a pause as I turned around a tight corner too fast. "Just wait it out and see what happens." She added.

Once again this comment confused me. I tried prying on her thoughts but she immediately began revising all the Shakespeare poetry she could think of, blocking me out.

My jaw tensed and my hands gripped the wheels tightly in frustration.

- - - - - - -

"So..." Carlisle looked down at a sheet of paper in his hands.

Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle and I were going 'camping'. Though we always use this as an excuse to hunt, this time we really are camping, 'family time', as Carlisle calls it...and I suppose hunting still may be included. We stood out in our drive way. I'm sure if we were humans we'd probably freeze to death by what we were wearing.

"...we need a couple of supplies from town...shouldn't take too long." He looked up at us. Emmett shrugged, Jasper nodded and I mentally cursed myself knowing full well of who I'd run into.

Bella. I overheard Mike talking about working with her at his family business store in town, which happens to be the store we need right now.

We all jumped into Emmett's jeep. I don't think we'd be in town for long so we won't stand out too much.

"What's with the grim face?" Jasper asked casually.

"Nothing" I muttered, looking out the window as a sign that I didn't want to talk about it.

I didn't know exactly why I was down. I had a flare of excitement at the fact that I got to see Bella's face once more. But it was immediately extinguished when I remember her luring scent and my want to attack.

**So...please tell me what you think ! :P**


	7. You Got Me

**Not the longest of all chapters but still I really enjoyed writing this.**

**Thanks for all the reviews of last chapter: tigerwriter; EnderACullen; Random Moose on the Loose; IWillBeThereWhereYouAre; TwilightNerd; sasusaku74; magicvamp;**

**I'm happy that this story is slowly becoming more popular! Lol. Enjoy!**

We all jumped into Emmett's jeep. I don't think we'd be in town for long so we won't stand out too much.

"What's with the grim face?" Jasper asked casually.

"Nothing" I muttered, looking out the window as a sign that I didn't want to talk about it.

I didn't know exactly why I was down. I had a flare of excitement at the fact that I got to see Bella's face once more. But it was immediately extinguished when I remember her luring scent and my want to attack.

Shortly we arrived in town and Carlisle parked his car smoothly into a tight spot.

Groaning to myself, I slouched out of the car and took a deep intoxicating breath of ice-cold air.

As a group we trod into the small store. Carlisle made his way over to a stash of essentials we would need while Emmett and Jasper sniggered behind me when they noticed my attention was lingering on the girl at the counter.

I quickly turned around and gave them a sharp look. Their smiles immediately wiped off their faces as the looked into my eyes. Smiling at their reaction, I pulled myself together and made myself look busy browsing objects.

Every now and then I'd peek over to the counter where Bella would be serving customers. Her long sleek brown hair spread over her shoulders. Her face a pale white though she had little spots of pink on her cheeks, like she was blushing.

Building up my courage I began my slowest controlled pace over to her. My body tensed, as I got closer.

_Why does she affect me so?_

_It was unbelievable. The simple image of her, just standing there, gives me chills of delight. At the time of course, all I wanted was to get to know her, understand why these strange feelings fire in me whenever I see her innocent face. Those brown chocolate eyes. Her long lush hair. Pale pink cheeks. Little figure…perfect!_

Just as I was about to reach the counter Mike comes from the back of the store. His face visibly lit up as he took in Bella's statue.

I halted, rooted to the spot.

"Bella! I didn't realize you were here already. I'll come help you out." A big goofy grin spread across his face as he stepped up next to Bella, waiting for a customer.

I felt a sudden urge to protect Bella. It was the most strange and unseen feeling I have ever experienced. I wanted to step between the two of them and take Bella into my arms.

My hands were by my side flexing and stretching them in frustration both at Mike and at myself.

I can't let myself get attached to someone. Not now.

Slowly I turned back around pretending to take interest in one of skies, before either one of them would notice me staring.

Faintly, I heard low chuckles at the other end of the store. My head snapped up to its direction to see Emmett and Jasper staring straight back at me with huge grins upon their smug faces.

_So what's with the girl, huh?_ Emmett's cheeky side always brought the dark side of me.

_She seems…sweet._ Jasper took a side ways glance towards her.

Again, that feeling of protection swooped over me. I knew Jasper would never mean to do any harm to anyone but he was the newest member to our family and I didn't like his past reputation.

But he's family. I shook my head. I'm thinking against my own family!

Disgusted at myself I dawdled around the store a few more minutes, hoping that Mike would leave her side before Carlisle was ready to leave.

As I was looking through a gap through one of the stands to look at Bella, someone tapped me on the shoulder making me jump in shock.

"Edward" It was Carlisle. Sighing, I turned around, feeling extremely embarrassed by being caught staring, again.

"Yes?" Even I could hear the slight edge of frustration to my tone.

"Ready to leave? I've got everything."

My hope in being able to talk to Bella vanished. Nodding, we made our way back to the Carlisle's car.

"Aw, don't worry about it mate." Emmett patted me on the back.

I paused outside the car. Emmett's hand still on my back I turned to looked at him sternly. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Emmett sniggered quietly, looking me straight in the eye, "you know-"

I cut him off abruptly, "Drop it." Then I opened the door and dropped into my seat.

I didn't want anyone to think I had anything to do with Bella. No attraction, no feelings, no nothing. If they didn't know then it would make it all the more easier for me to think the same.

**Athankyou!**


	8. Love At First Touch

**(Hey. im updating in a few days at the most. im just editing (a little late) this chapter. i noticed some things wrong :D)**

**Finally im updating :) Again not _that_ long but good enough i think :D**

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed for the last chapter: _magicvamp; sasusaku74; halojones; EnderACullen; tigerwriter; Random Moose on the Loose; Can't Wait For Breaking Dawn; Shanya-hp; TwilightNerd; sAMMI DA wOLF; AntiSocialLozer;_**

**Hope you enjoy!**

I cut him off abruptly, "Drop it." Then I opened the door and dropped into my seat.

I didn't want anyone to think I had anything to do with Bella. No attraction, no feelings, no nothing. If they didn't know then it would make it all the more easier for me to think the same.

"Um excuse me!" A quiet voice came from back at the entrance of the store.

My eyes shot up to find Bella's little statue walking awkwardly towards the car. Immediately I subconsciously shot up out of the car and straightened up.

Bella halted for just a second and she looked up and down my figure. Her eyes widened a little in shock. _Crap._ I thought. _Too fast. I moved too fast._

"Um. You left this on the counter." When she said this Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle all casually sat down into their seats of the car and slammed the door behind them.

Internally I had a massive angry fire burning in me ready for as soon as Bella turns back for her work I would allow to burn freely.

I put on a pleasant smile and took the tent pegs from her hand. One of my fingers touched hers ever so slightly and I felt a pang of electricity shoot through me. She pulled back her hand shocked, her eyes again bulging. The tent peg fell to the ground between us with a clang.

"Sorry" She gasped but continued to simply stare at me.

Usually I would of easily been able to have caught it before it hit the ground but I was too caught up in the moment of Bella and I touching for the first time.

A light shade of red coloured her cheeks and I couldn't help myself chuckle softly. In reply she simply smiled shyly. I bent over and picked up the pegs.

"Thanks" I muttered quietly as she turned to make her way back.

I waited until she was safely back inside, then I turned on them.

"Jasper!" Alice's voice rang down our long driveway. As soon as we pulled up in the garage Alice swung the backseat door open and pulled Jasper out harshly. She enveloped him in a huge hug and I had to turn away. Longing for something like that killed me internally and I just couldn't take it at the moment. As much as I hated to admit it I truly am weak right now.

_I knew how much Alice and Jasper belonged to each other. I just needed something like that. And the reason I was so weak and vulnerable at the point in time is because…I also had an inkling that I belonged, in that respect, to someone else in particular. I look back on this moment and simply laugh at myself. I was so naive._

Carlisle was then dragged out of the car and swept up in a hug by Esme. Followed by Emmett on his way into the arms of Rosalie. I quietly sighed making sure the couples wouldn't hear and tried to creep out of the garage as quietly as possible so I wouldn't disturb their reunions.

I dropped myself on my couch and turned on my stereo full blow. Smiling slightly as I began to hear little murmurs of annoyance I sank further into my couch then began to do the only thing I could to just get away…I began to daydream…

**Please review. :D**

**Gem.**


	9. Is This Who I'm Meant To Be?

**WOo I like this chapter. I hope you do too :) Thankyou to all that reviewed for the previous chapter:**

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_**Enjoy!!**_

I dropped myself onto my couch and turned on my stereo full blow. Smiling slightly as I began to hear little murmurs of annoyance, I sank further into my couch, the began to do the only thing I could do to just get away…I began to daydream…

_Now, I ask, have you ever experienced the fierce joy of a beauty beyond your extensive imagination yourself? Have you ever felt such an intense pleasure of seeing another's face? To feel another's face? If so, you shall then know the incredible amount of such energy and power that ran through me the next time my eyes landed on her…_

Literally, pain, outstanding pain slimed through each and every cell of my being. Pain, the pain of longing.

Here I am, once again, stuck in this mindless room, learning about useless theorem. But no matter. In fact no matter at all. I am indeed enjoying my stay in this biology class, for I get the most pleasurable gift of all. I get to stare for all of the period at the back of Bella's head.

_No._ I thought. _What a creep I do sound like, thinking such things? Snap out of it!_

The teacher only had to do that for me.

"Sorry, sir?" I blankly looked up to the withering old man's face.

"Edward," His rasp voice rose, "I'm sure you of all people, are quite capable to read chapters three and four _quietly_." He ended with a snap.

I continued to look up at him, dumbfounded. I cocked my head to the side.

"Continue reading, then." The teacher waved an impatient hand then turned to some paperwork piled on his desk.

Suddenly, I felt Tyler next to me lean in close to my ear. "I said, do you feel ok?"

I turned to meet Tyler in the eyes. "Er, yes. Fine thanks. Why?"

_So it was Tyler talking, not sir._

Tyler's lips spread into a tight smile, "You just look a little pale, that's all." He turned back to his reading.

The room was completely silent. While other's had only read half of the first chapter, I had already completed chapters three and four twice. I really needed something new…

Tyler bumped my shoulder with his, "Hey, what do you want from my sister, already?" His brow creased in angry lines.

I raised one eyebrow in surprise, "Excuse me?" I whispered.

"You haven't taken your eyes off her since we got here."

I smiled slightly, "Well, well. Someone's very protective, aren't they?" I noticed Tyler's hand grip his pen rather tightly, making his knuckles turn as white as mine. "And just to let you know," I slouched deeper into my chair, "I have no intention, what so ever, as to have anything to do with your sister, Bella. I was simply…" I suddenly was lost for words. _Truly _lost for words. How could this be? Lying often occurs in my day-to-day life yet for this once, it was to be made difficult…

I was left with nothing else, "…looking at Jessica." Ashamed I looked away. Jessica sat directly next to Bella it was my only choice. One quick, one _bad_ decision I made.

_Damn. _I cursed silently. _How idiotic was that? Great. Just great._

A low whistle, so only Tyler and I were able to hear, sounded in my ear. Again, I looked to Tyler, "Tough pick for a crush, mate. Even though I've only been here for a short amount of time, I already know she's one hard nut to crack."

"Silence!" Sir eyed us then returned to his study.

"I…I…" Stuttering, once again, I felt lost.

Tyler smiled sympathetically, "No worries, mate," He patted me roughly on the back, surprising me still, "Your secrets stuck and safe with me." He put his other hand to his chest.

"Err. Thanks."

_Strange guy. I wonder if it runs in the family…_

- - - - - -

_Lunch. What a wonderful time lunch is. All the hustle and bustle over what type of food to eat, and let me tell you, there's a vast range, far bigger than anyone expects…_

"Why do they always go for the pizza?" Alice's little voice whispered for only our table to hear.

I stared off at a blank wall thinking of only one thing, waiting for only one thing.

"I have no idea. Ghastly tasting to me." Jasper's slick voice replied.

"Are you managing Jasper?" Rosalie didn't sound at all concerned with Jasper's ability of control, but it's still the question we must always ask.

" 'Managing' would be a good word for it, yeah."

There it is. What I have been waiting for. Her, her sweetest smell of them all.

I snapped me head around and peered in the direction of the scent.

There by the entrance doors, stood Bella. Her cute little expression of anxiety she wore only made me want her more. She made her way over to a table with some childishly giggling girls. Bella, in no way, seemed to belong in that group. Bella was not the girl for gossip or the fashion 'idol'. Though no one could make a simple T-shirt and jeans look any better than she can…

"Oi man, what are you doing? Stop creeping out them out." Emmett's massive hand rested on my shoulder. To anyone else it would have looked like he was resisting me from doing something...

"Huh?" I regretfully turned away from Bella.

"You're freaking out the human's by staring at them."

"Oh." Quickly, I noticed several hundred eyes peering at me in particular.

"You ok Edward?" Alice's face pulled into a deep frown.

"_Who is he?"_ Bella's voice reached my ears. Swinging around again I sae her speaking to a girl I know to be Angela.

"_He's just another Junior here. His name's Edward. Almost everyone has a major crush on him. Though he tends to be a bit intimidating so I stand away from fan girls," _Bella joined Angela in a quiet laugh, _"He keeps to himself though, no girlfriends. Sticks with the rest of those people he sits with. They're his family apparently."_

"Edward?" Alice questioned. Rolling my eyes in frustration I spun back around to face her.

"What?"

"Are you ok? You're acting not yourself." Jasper put an arm around Alice's shoulders for comfort, making me want to gag.

"What? I'm not acting silent or invisible enough? I'm not hiding myself or peering into other's thoughts?" I spat the words at her.

Alice's eyebrows rose in shock, "Well if you put it like that-"

"Yes. That's exactly what you're usually like. It's exactly how we're _meant_ to be like. Stop creeping people out!" Rosalie snapped at me, her eyes bulging.

"Ok settle down. It's not that big of a deal. Edward probably just heard something interesting or-"

I cut Emmett off, "No!" I said as calmly as I could, "I told you already, I'm not going to listen to people's thoughts anymore. It's wrong."

"Just _being _one of us is wrong," Rosalie rolled her eyes, "but we just have to deal with it. Stop acting so sorry for yourself and get over it!" Anger flooded through my empty veins as she said this and the best I could do was not to flip our table over. I clenched my hands into tight fists, trying to hold myself together.

"I think this conversation is over." I picked up my things then stood up rigidly. I made my way towards the entrance doors. I heard Alice begin to protect and go to get up after me but I'm sure she wouldn't continue to follow. Before I left though I gave Bella one last glance. Her eyes were already on me, wide but not afraid…this made me confused. Everyone was always somewhat afraid of my appearance, but not Bella. Our eyes never left each other until I took one step out the doors.

**Review your thoughts :) and thank you thank you thank you for reading :D!! ill try and reply to all the reviews i receive :D  
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	10. Its All The Same

**Sorry its been so long. Things are busy. Ive been stalking the internet for things on Twilight Lol. Its been fun i must say :D  
**

**Thankyou to all who reviewed again and to my new readers as well: **rmanley237; sasusaku74; coco1217; Vampire Ponies; sAMMI DA wOLF; halojones; aimeelove; lilkhoshie; TwilightNerd;librarymom; dawntwilight000

"I think this conversation is over." I picked up my things then stood up rigidly. I made my way towards the entrance doors. I heard Alice begin to protect and go to get up after me but I'm sure she wouldn't continue to follow. Before I left though I gave Bella one last glance. Her eyes were already on me, wide but not afraid…this made me confused. Everyone was always somewhat afraid of my appearance, but not Bella. Our eyes never left each other until I took one step out the doors.

The cool breeze wisped around my face as I strode towards my next class alone.

_I remember that one picture that played through my mind over and over as I made my way to class. Yes, the person that had already taken part of my heart with her, yes you Bella._

I slid in through the half opened door into English. Bella unfortunately would not be attending this class. Disappointment crept in me.

I took my usual place by myself in the back corner of the room. Faintly, I heard light footsteps halt next to my desk. Despite my still flaring anger towards my family I looked up to meet the eyes of Tyler.

"Hey Ed. Mind if I take my place here?" With out waiting for me to reply he plopped himself easily into the seat next to me.

My eyes hadn't left him by the time he looked back up at me after unpacking. He eyed me cautiously obviously waiting for me to say something. All I could think of was how unlike his twin was to him. They both had the same hair colour; same height, same eyes but they definitely had different faces. They used their faces differently, their expression were unique to one another. Tyler had a more boyish look to him (you'd hope so) and he portrayed his emotions more openly then what I have got from Bella. Reading Tyler was simply to look at him.

"Mate- Ed- what's the matter with you?" I could instantly smell a light wave of fear come off him. Natural instinct, I smiled to myself then looked to my desk as the teacher began to blab on.

"No matter" I muttered the reply.

The teacher eventually handed out an assignment to present a speech on the morals and rights based on Romeo and Juliet. I cringed slightly as I thought about having to go through all of this lovey-dovey crap _again._

"You sure know how to distract someone" Tyler commented as we began packing for the next class.

"Excuse me?" I looked over to him, feeling my brows crease together, confused.

"Well, the whole entire time all you did was mutter things that didn't make sense. No offence or nothing, a little creepy, don't you think?" Tyler gave a cheeky grin towards me but I could see in his eyes he was cautious of my response.

"Ah, sorry about that."

"Everything good?" Tyler's eyes burned with sudden curiosity.

I eyed him suspiciously. "Fine" I stood up quickly. Maybe a little too quickly, making Tyler jump. I was eager to leave class and get to Biology.

"Oh, can you tell Sir that I'll be a little late for class. Ive got to go to the office for a tick." Tyler stood up smoothly from his seat while asking me.

"Er, yeah." I answered distracted at the thought of seeing Bella again.

I left the classroom quickly and made my way directly to the Biology room.

I entered the humid room and took my seat quickly and quietly as I waited for everyone to show up to class.

I eagerly watched the door and listened for footsteps. Mike entered the room and ignored me as usual, behind him though was Bella, her hand in his.

My mouth fell open in shock and abruptly anger boiled in me lapsing my control. Fire flared in my stomach and I stood up swiftly, slamming my hands to the desk. My mind was muddled in ways to destroy Mike there and then. Bella. The Bella who wouldn't leave my mind. The Bella I…have never talked to exactly.

Mike stopped in the doorway looking rather frightened by my sudden scene. Bella looked wide-eyed at me. Her eyes a pure brown, stared straight into mine. I sighed heavily and slouched in my seat again.

"What the hell was with that?" He shouted across the room at me.

I expected as much. Especially in front of Bella. Big show off is all he is.

"Forget it." I muttered just loud enough for him to hear.

"Yeah, well. Don't do that again…alright?" His voice quavered slightly.

I snorted and looked out the window absently. I was fed up with this crap. My mood was definitely going down hill. Steeply.

"Hey,-" Mikes voice was cut off.

"Don't Mike" Bella's soft voice whispered. I turned my head to Bella and our eyes met for a second. I felt a sudden zap of electricity run through our gazes. It shocked me. My head froze a little, and Bellas eyes widened once more in shock. She turned away from me and sat down to her spot where Jessica Stanley would eventually sit. Leaving me to my thoughts and the sheer longing to be by her side.

I inhaled deeply letting her scent rise in me and enveloping me in a cloud of dreamy thoughts.

**Im hoping I havent lost any of my readers. I hope you enjoyed this :D**

**Gem.**


	11. Now, I'm Trying To Shake It

**Here's the next chapter and it's a little earlier than everyone expected hey? lol. hope you all enjoy this one as well.**

**Thanks again to the people who reviewed: lpinner; TwilightRose15; Vampire Ponies; librarymom; dawntwilight000; halojones; ColaKuesstOrange; TwilightNerd; Tamari-95; xxBloodxxLustxx; sAMMI DA wOLF**

I inhaled deeply letting her scent rise in me and enveloping me in a cloud of dreamy thoughts.

Tyler eventually made it to class before the teacher arrived anyway so he was puffing away, from rushing, by my side unpacking his bag.

"I'm glad that's all sorted then." Tyler breathed.

I held my breath while he calmed down, to make it easier for me to remain under control. He stench was not intolerable, obviously, and definitely not as excruciatingly addictive as Bella's, but all the same, it's hard not to get distracted…

_You're brother is a very interesting young man. Yes, I can see deep similarities between you two, but also grave differences, for which I am very glad._

I decided, while he was puffing and unable to talk, to relax and get myself organized for his soon-to-come rant on something random in his life.

Carefully and as secretly as could be made possible, I tried to steal glances towards Bella. My eyes fell upon hers. She was twisting around to talk to Mike, who sat behind her, while Mike was rambling on about some football match, Bella was staring deeply into my focused eyes. Her chocolate brown eyes looked thoughtfully towards me. Her brow creased and mouth set she looked as though she was trying to figure out a problematic situation of some sort. The long strands of her hair blew in the slight breeze coming in from the door. She quickly tucked them behind her ear, trying to tame it.

I smiled slightly at her little expression of confusion, only knowing too well of what her subconscious was telling her.

Bella blinked quickly as though she was taken out of a pleasant dream and her eyes refocused on me. Quickly, a light blush appeared on her cheeks and a wave of startling floral embarrassment came from her.

I chuckled quietly at this as she turned away from my piercing eyes.

My hunger rises immensely whenever I see Bella. Just her sheer appearance brings up more then one type of longing for her. I growled at myself as I took in this fact. In the corner of my eye I saw Tyler eye my confused.

"Um. Did you just burp?" Tyler had a stupid grin on his face.

"Er. No." I opened my book in front of me as I heard the teachers footsteps making his way to the classroom a bit over a minutes walk away.

"So, you're into hiking ay?" His voice was filled with interest.

"Yes. It's a family thing. Tradition to go whenever we can really."

"And you are adopted by Dr. Cullen from the hospital right?" Tyler pushed on.

"Yes." I answered monotone.

"Same goes for Alice?"

I rolled my eyes at his assumption. "Yes same goes for her."

"And Emmett and-"

"-Jasper and Rosalie, Yes." I tried to look intently interested in what the teacher had now begun to ramble on about.

Again, in the corner of my eye I saw Tyler leaning over towards me curiosity flaring in his eyes.

I sighed deeply and turned my glare towards him. Tyler looked a little shocked from my sudden change of mood, if he hadn't already caught the gist of it, and leaned back into his chair.

Turning back to the teacher I heard Tyler take in a deep breath.

"And you're obviously all into cars." His words came out surprisingly quick for a human. I guess, my glare really got his nerves.

I nodded not bothering to look at him.

Relief swept over me as the teacher handed out a booklet we were to work on.

"The mark for this will cover 20 overall. You shall be working in groups of four."

Sir walked past my table and dropped the thick booklet on my desk.

Immediate chatter echoed in the room as people tried to make their groups with friends.

"Ah ah ah." The teacher shushed everyone. "Did I fail to mention _I _shall be informing who goes with who this time?"

A sigh sounded around the room, I rolled my eyes at everyone's pathetic attitudes. I caught Tyler smiling over towards Bella direction. I followed his gaze and found Bella staring directly at me again, ignoring Mikes' intentions of making conversation with her. When my eyes met hers she looked quickly away embarrassed again.

"Everyone pick a partner to begin with. I guess I can never win anyway." The teacher gave a little slack to the people complaining.

"Yo Ed. I go with you yeah?" Tyler gave me a little punch in the arm.

"I guess." I couldn't take my eyes off Bella. Even just her simple style of hair was inconveniently attractive in my eyes.

"I'll pull out a name, and you and your partner will then join up with another pair." The teacher explained.

"Does the teacher always act like this towards us?" Tyler leaned too close to me for my liking and I jumped back across the other side on my table width.

Tyler gave me a shocked look that obviously means he thinks I'm crazy.

I collected myself and straightened up. Nodding slowly I answered, "Yeah, pretty much."

"First pair, Jessica Stanley." Jess smiled widely. She was paired up with a girl I know to be Lauren. "You'll be with…Eric and his partner."

I saw Jessica's back slouch into her chair.

"Next" He dug his hand into the bag of names, "Edward Cullen," Instantly I noticed dozens of girls rise in their chairs at the sound of my name. I groaned internally. My eyes rested on Bella. Her head perked up a little but not as extreme as some of the others I must admit, "You and your partner will be with…Mike."

_Great._ I thought, _just my luck._

Everyone got into their groups and surrounded their microscopes, which were set up in ready tables. Mike was slower to get to our table. I tapped my fingers lightly on the surface waiting to see who paired up with Mike.

Bella shyly came up to the table. She put herself on the complete opposite side that I was standing.

"Do you need help with something?" I asked politely and held my breath quickly after.

A soft blush came to her cheeks, "Um, I think I'm here working with you. I was paired with Mike" She explained.

_Obviously._ I cursed myself.

Her smell was intoxicating and I was slowly becoming aware of how dangerous this situation I got myself into was. My hands clutched at the edge of the desk in literally pain because I was holding back so much emotion and want. I set my jaw firmly shut and tried to distract myself by looking out the window.

Bella stood there quietly waiting for Mike and Tyler to show up.

I heard Tyler's high laughter come closer. He was walking towards us along with Mike.

Mike met my eyes and his glare reflected mine. Mike made his way to put himself next to Bella. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she put on a little half-smile in response.

_If I could just see what she's thinking right now…_I decided just poking into her mind to see what the situation between her and Mike was would be ok.

I stretched out my senses toward her mind. I reached out waiting for her voice in my head.

I jumped a little from the unexpected response. I had hit a wall. Something was blocking her mind from me. Quickly recovering myself, I tried again. Still the same wall there. I could tell it was thick, powerful and definitely no way around it.

**Thankyou all!**

**Gem.**


	12. Authors Note: :D

**Sigh I'm sorry I haven't updated again for about a week now, but I've come down with a rather ugly cold and I'm still getting over it. **

**Of course this is still no excuse as to why I have neglected my fellow trustworthy twilighters and all I can say is sorry.**

**Right now I'm not sure as to when I will update again. But in the mean time I have a little...lets say...advertisement. Blushes sorry, I know not everyone always appreciates these things but I've been writing a story over the last few months and I'd love to know what all of YOU would think of it. **

**So please If you can, Read my fictionpress story, called "Wither Closeness"**

(for some reason it wont let me post a link) so just go to fictionpress then look up either the story "Wither Closeness" or my user name. twinewecl. :D

**Thank you so much if you can. Also, if anyone would like to be my beta for Wither Closeness, that would be amazingly awesome! Lol. And I promise I wouldn't be one to put loads on you at once :D**

**Once more, I'll try and put out another chapter soon enough. I've already started it :D**

**Thanks again.**

**Gem.**


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